The new issue of Rolling Stone features a cover piece on John Mayer who, when not telling the magazine about how he’s on an epic search for the “Joshua Tree of vaginas” to make his life complete, and complaining about how “blowing me off is the new sucking me off,” dispensed advice to Tiger Woods: “If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. I am the new generation of masturbator. I’ve seen it all. Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week… I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating.” |Daily Beast|