I, Kari Ferrell, am now writing for ANIMAL. I have no idea what this daily column is going to be about. I have many ideasâ€”who I’d like to have sex with, but shouldn’t; an enlightening piece on various deli meats; daily haikus; what I’d like to stealâ€”but am not sure which one I’m going to go with. So for now, you get the Korean Abdul-Jabbar clusterfuck.
Also, the majority of you probably don’t want to read anything written by me anyway, so it really doesn’t matter. I may just end up talking about the theme from Full House and the Melchizedek Priesthood for days.
Can’t wait to hear you bitch,