Self-mutilating art royal Marina Abramović says she hates theater: “Theatre is fake… The knife is not real, the blood is not real, and the emotions are not real.” Art counterpoint: GG Allin bled and shat on stage, there’s real sex in  Antichrist, Divine had a real dog shit snack in Pink Flamingos and… erm… porn? Let’s just take her comment as a challenge. Onward, performers!