(Hate-Free Fridays may never return) Jackie Chan and George Clooney, step aside. It’s Broke(n) Hammertime. Previously, South African beer brand Castle Light dusted off Vanilla Ice. At least that made some logical sense (Ice + Beer = Cold Beer), and Robert Mathew Van Winkle actually enthusiastically mocked himself.

In this spot, the gold jumpsuited Stanley Kirk Burrell is awkwardly attached to the brand like a lamprey. Hammer received much praise and even sympathy for his funny self-deprecating Nationwide Super Bowl spot from 2005. Ogilvy Cape Town says this frozen turd of a commercial was shot in Johannesburg and is scheduled to air in the host country all during the World Cup. I hope Hammer at least got a decent paycheck for his nine stupid words and unconvincing chuckle.