Since earlier this year I have been given the grand opportunity of boring you with my words and tits; and fortunately for you, my adventure here has come to an end. Unlike that hilarious April Fool’s prank where I convinced many of you I was done, this is fo’ real.
Keeping it short and sweet, I would just like to say that I appreciate all of you dear readers, and even more so appreciate the naysayers. You made my writing much more enjoyable (for me, at least), and for that I will be forever grateful.
For the few of you that made it this far and aren’t rejoicing wildly, and are—for some inane reason—interested as to why the ANIMAL and I are parting, it’s because I’m realizing the naysayers have been right for all this time: my writing sucks. I have decided to take some time off to concentrate on really understanding what “quality over quantity” means. Maybe I’ll take those classes that Mediabistro is always yammering on about, or maybe I’ll realize there is no hope for me, and just quit doing it outright.
Whatever the case, I hope that this is not the last time I appear on the site, as that would mean that I truly am obsolete. So whether you next see me authoring a post or appearing in one (talking about how my body was found underneath the Manhattan Bridge with a double-sided dildo sticking out of my mouth), I look forward to it.
Also, if my rambling in 140 characters is more your style, follow me on Twitter @hotdoghandjobs
Kari, holler at me when you're in Philly. You can hide out at my place anytime.
So wait, Bucky is getting rid of the only writer at Animal that generates more than one comment per post?!
Interesting. Thanks for all you have done, including NOT getting a restraining order against me for suggesting that you be gang-raped on camera.
With love and lots of Astroglide, I wish you all the best.
awwww. always enjoyed your inanity. no really. write a book. longhand. keep it rockin' kari.
There is nothing worse than letting the bastards win. "Bastards" includes your own insecurities. Your writing is solid. Stop whining and making it about you, and what I mean by that is stop making it about the you that is trying to bring you down — your fear of not being good enough. Don't let the tide of negative responses drown you. If trolls sense a weakness, they attack it. If you've shown an insecurity in your ability to write, they use that to leverage an attack.
Why would you let the bastards win? Do you hate yourself that much? Breath in white light. Breath out dark smoke. Love yourself and be yourself and stop hanging your excuses out to dry. They are all wet. Always will be.
Bummer. You're the only writer here I find worth reading. (Though Apple's starting to win me over…) But for now, consider my RSS feed unsubscribed. I can do without Turco's knee-jerk political yammering and repeated defenses of some homophobic drug dealer.
Keep in touch, babe. That old offer still stands.
Hard to believe. We'll miss you.
kari you are a liar and not that smart. i knew you were full of shit then and anyone who believes anything you say deserves whatever you get out of them. I dont even hold any of it against you, more power to you really, but just dont ever think youre smarter than everyone. you arent and I knew you were full of shit then, and that you are now. people are just dumb. you are but an opportunist.
Well, I've always enjoyed your posts. Writing is a craft that can always be refined, but there needs to be something there to refine in the 1st place knowwhati'msayin? You have it. Keep at it.
Dear Kari,
This is Jesse from LA. I am trrying to get ahold of you. I emailed your batwhatever email address, but I don't know if that one is still up and rolling. You know my email/#. Hit me up.
hugs and shit,
Jesse
you will be missed!
Best of Luck to ya, Kari.
You aren't really a bad writer; you have an interesting take on things, so keep at it.
Good luck ma'am. I've enjoyed your blog posts here and thank you for the entertainment they provided.
WEEEEAK. I love your entries.
There really isnt a reason for me to even view this website anymore, except maybe for the graff….
Stay up
Decided to come back today, knowing that I would find what we've all observed in the past. You're still the biggest click generator for ANIMAL. Would love to know the back story on this.
Kari, good luck in your next venture. I mainly visit this blog to read your posts and its a little disappointing there's not always one there (so I'm going to be really disappointed now :-( ). Imagine you're a writer on the tonight show, they read all the newspapers and they're not full of good material every day… but the show just goes with the best they could find.
from one of the "Shires"
5 dalla for sucky sucky….adjusted for inflation.
Good luck
On your new venture
Or other projects.
Kari, you'll be missed!
Who'd
Have thought
Our favorite column would
Really
End this way?
can you hire Glastonbury Man in her place?
Kari, Good luck on future ventures. It would be good to hear from you sometime. Will you stay in New York or head back to Utah? You are an intelligent young woman. Use those gifts you have to live a productive life. I think you should pursue higher education.
finally,
your posts were fucking awful
Get some life experience. No, jail is not life experience. Sorry but anyone can do that. Just real life experience. Cultivate an authentic voice. Which means you'll have to get real with yourself. Then as the poster said above, try higher education but keep writing and sharpening your skills. You could be a good writer in the future but it till take persistence and dedication. Good luck!
your posts were the main reason i visited Animal
oh, well
You are a thief and will always be one.
Sure, lonley guys will hit on you, still, they are deperate.
Before you know it, you will be fat, old and disgusting.'
And that tatoo will be a blurry mess.
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Did Joy Division and the Sex Pistols try to emulate the Pixies?
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