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News Served up With a Side of Courage

11.11.10 Lauri Apple

It’s Veteran’s Day! Governmental everything–the schools, the courts, the city offices, the garbage-collection department–is closed. Oh, but not the jails–those are always open. Take your pet bald eagle to the parade and then buy him a Harley Davidson bandanna and some apple pie, for Liberty. And discuss these news developments.

National:

  • President Barack Obama will lay a wreath and say some veteran-y things in Korea. Then he’ll take his pet bald eagle out for bimbimbap. |Washington Post|
  • George W. Bush is a successful author. Now the sun will begin revolving around the earth. |WSJ|
  • Despite their mutual appreciation for golf, John Boehner and Barack Obama hate each other so bad. The next two years are going to suck, so bad. |WSJ|
  • Republican TeaPartista Michele Bachmann is giving up her bid for the #4 position in the House leadership, because you all like Jeb Hensarling better anyway, and nobody understands her advanced ideas, and fuck all of you people. |CBS|
  • Oakland, California city councilwoman Jean Quan became the first Asian-American woman to run a major city. At least the Californians appreciate women leaders. |Daily Caller|
  • Remember that hypocritical, gay-hating Miss California Carrie Prejean–the one with all the homemade sex vids and nip slip pixs and prissy hissy fits, who aligned herself with conservatives? Well, she’s pregnant now. The wrong people always spawn. |Fox|
  • Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank doesn’t like it when Bill O’Reilly talks about beheading him. It’s not nice. |Daily Caller|
  • A new report by a Pentagon group says gays could serve in war with minimal risk of incident. Doesn’t someone come out with study results like this every week, or does it just seem that way? |Washington Post|

Metro:

  • City officials have absolutely no idea how to save money, so they’re turning to the citizenry. So far, about 2,000 people have recommended ideas; more than half of the responses say, “quit buying stupid shit.” Another 10% say, “go to the store on double-coupon day.” |NYC twitter|
  • Don’t you try to tell Charlie the teacup terrier he has to move out, stupid condo board. Charlie’s got lawyers, and they’ll fight you and win. |NY Times|
  • “If anybody can find somebody worse than Joel Klein, it’s Michael Bloomberg … I don’t know much about this woman, but I bet she’s going to be awful.” A teacher in Queens responds to the mayor’s choice for chancellor of the schools. |Queens Courier|
  • You’re never going to spend that $35,000 stashed in your freezer, collecting frost. Maybe you should give it to the Medgar Evers College Preparatory School marching band, so they can go to Atlanta to compete in a championship. Oh wait, that’s just $3 in your freezer? Well, give it to the band anyway. |Team Tish|
  • On his 35th birthday, Michael Rodgers promised to run 35 races in a year to benefit charity, and he’s been doing it. When you’re 35, you should run 35 races and also run for president. |Queens Examiner|