“See Spot explode!” begins the New York Post’s probing article on al-Queda’s plan to put explosive dogs on a U.S.-bound plane. Oh gee, that’s side-splitting. For $100: did the paper also use “dogs on a plane,” in reference to that Samuel Jackson movie with the snakes?

No, surprisingly! But it did refer to the would-be bomb-dogs as “kamikaze canines.” Also, “poor pooches,” because the dogs died from having detonation devices surgically sewn into their insides, and because the Post-ies probably didn’t want to look like dicks. At least not at the same level of dickness as al-Queda, anyhow.