Jeff Koons’ life-size sculptures of Jeff Koons doing it have just been upstaged by Prince Jefri Bolkiah of Brunei. Hold the applause. Prince Bolkiah’s $1 million commission of an x-rated statue sex-fest featuring himself and his fiancé is perhaps the least pervy thing he’s ever done.

His Royal Highness Pengiran Digadong Sahibul Mal Pengiran Muda Jefri Bolkiah ibni Al-Marhum Sultan Haji Omar Ali Saifuddien Sa’adul Khairi Waddien has blown billions on call girls, up to 40 at a time, has a harem which he abuses and a yacht named Tits and once held a former Miss USA captive as a sex slave. Yet, he needs the statues to remind himself he’s a big man, big man.

The sculptures are caught in the middle of a high profile fraud case and the Prince’s lawyers were attempting to keep the photos of these statues out of court because they might “offend the Jurors” and cast a negative light on the Prince’s rep. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Despite the gag order, they’re out there.