Spy_censorBut of course. Never mind the uncertain status of the other spies’ American children, the spy who got away or an ongoing Cold War. Anna Chapman‘s ex-husband emerges from his swamp to rag on Red and sell boob photos to Rupert Murdoch’s trashy UK tabloid subsidiary¬†News of the World.

Anna was 19 when she married Alex. The fiasco was brief. Anna became distant. Or, as her ex describes, a gold-digging, social-climbing sneak with a big time KGB agent Dad and glitzy, mysterious Muscovites and a Persian Prince as buddies. Or, you know, distant. Though he bitterly recalls his marriage falling apart because Anna was off spy training with the Russian government (and not because “he was a rag of a man”), he fondly recalls their sex life.

So there goes a tale of “a provincial Russian girl fresh in the Big City” whose materialism got her tangled in espionage intrigue and caught in a terrible mess because of a bad WiFi connection. Or she really was trained as a spy since she was 15. Either way, Red’s unlucky and this shitty spy novel plot of a public sabotage is probably just a ploy to get at her ex-KGB Dad.

Photos below, including two bits of a twenty-year-old kid/accused spy Mikhail Semenko’s Facebook adventures that show Mikhail dressed as Clinton. And wearing a USSR t-shirt… Subtle.