Ooh, a new feature: A list of newsy political bits to share and discuss with your friends, coworkers and the drug dealers on your front stoop. They’ll love appreciate you so much more, when you pass down the gift of ephemeral knowledge. Let’s begin!

  • Everybody’s talking about George W. Bush‘s fetus-jar sibling. But the follow-up question people should be asking is, “where is the fetus now?” Does Barbara Bush bring it out during family get-togethers and set a place for it at the table? |Huffington Post|
  • Bush’s successor to the Throne de Tejas, Rick Perry, lied to columnist Dana Milbank about “salt police.” |Washington Post|
  • House Dems are squabbling about who will be the minority whip. Steny Hoyer of Maryland has been the majority leader since 2006, but now that current House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is eying that job, Hoyer is planning on moving on down a seat. (Always give up your seat for a lady.) But South Carolinian Jim Clyburn wants to be the whip too, because he just wants to be a somebody. They should all settle the matter by way of a pie-eating contest. |WSJ|
  • Speaking of Palmetto state luminaries, O.G. Soulmate Mark Sanford is almost hiking the Appalachian trail for real. |Washington Post|
  • “Dear U.S. Congress, you can’t win. LOL. —Sincerely, The Taliban Family.” |Fox|
  • Friend of the courts Joe Francis got married. This means you still have a chance. |ONTD|
  • Tea Partying House Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) wants to be the House Republican Conference chair. Sure, whatever. But don’t put her in charge of copy-editing, because she can’t tell the difference between “principals” and “principles.” |Bachmann website|
  • The Republicans will use redistricting to screw up the country forever. |USA Today|
  • Speaking of forever, that’s how long Americans will be unemployed, says Paul Volcker, in so many words. |Huffington Post|
  • People want to get rid of GOP Chair Michael Steele so bad, but nobody knows who would replace him. Once again, pie-eating contest to the rescue. |Daily Caller|
  • Would-be senator of beards Joe Miller hasn’t given up on that seat yet, because he heard this song on the radio recently. It inspired him, just like it did the first time he heard it. |USA Today|
  • Glenn Beck says leftists are planning a violent government overthrow, so board up your windows and stock up on canned goods. Bonus: Watch Beck watch himself on television. Bonus-plus: He also releases some sort of countdown thing. |MMFA|
  • “Dirty bomb[s] might not be that bad.” So stop worrying about them before you scare the kids. |Defense Tech|

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