Breaking news! Everybody hates Thursdays! So say researchers who scanned 300 million Tweets for moods (“paradise” means happy, “rape” means sad). See the mappy video. It shows that the West Coast is happier than the East Coast. Jerks.

Don’t get scared of the bulbous shapes of States: California looks like a goiter because more people Tweet there. For more nifty explanations on how our trivial 140-character thought-farts were regurgitated into cartography, check this out.