There are certain things that I believe the Constitution hangs around to protect, but child rape is not one of them. Today, Warren Jeffs, leader of the FLDS and all-around wonky pedophile, paid a visit to Utah’s Supreme Court. Convicted in 2007 on multiple counts, the court overturned their last ruling, and ordered a new trial. Smells like justice?
In 2004, Warren’s nephew, Brent Jeffs, accused him of sodomizing him back in the 80’s, when he was six years old. After Brent filed a lawsuit, two of his cousins also claimed that Warren did the same to them. In June of 2005, things didn’t get much better for Warren, and he was charged with sexual assault on a minor with conspiracy to commit sexual misconduct with a minor, for taking it back old school, and arranging for a 14 year old girl to marry her 19 year old cousin.
Due to those little mishaps, Warren did what any red-blooded American man would do: he went on the run. Late in 2005, Jeffs was put on the FBI’s Most Wanted Fugitives list, and was featured on John Walsh’s Catch All Baddy.
Fast forward to April of 2006, where the fine state of Utah issued a warrant for his arrest, for felony charges of accomplice to a rape of a child between 14 to 18 years old. That stunt bumped him up to the FBI’s Top Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list, and the number hanging over his head sang to the tune of 100,000.
You’d think that all of this turmoil would prevent Jeffs from doing anything involving, uh, people ever again, but then you’d be wrong! June of ’06, he was back at it, performing more child-bride ceremonies in Colorado City, Arizona.
Fast forward to August of 2006 in Nevada, where Jeffs was pulled over with ONE of his wives (not the 12 year old), mad amounts of cash, costumes, his brother, four computers, and 16 cellphones. He was arrested and was eventually extradited to Purgatory in Utah. After being convicted of his crimes he was shipped off to the Utah State Prison to begin his stint of two consecutive terms of five to life.
Coming back to today, the Utah Supreme Court reversed their initial convictions, stating that jury instructions on lack of consent were in error, whatever that means. What we do know it means, is that the justices sent the case back to a lower court for a new trial; which subsequently means that Jeffs could potentially be released pending the new trial.
Thankfully for kids six to 18 years of age everywhere, Warren is also facing a heavy felony charge (sexual assault of a child) in Texas. If convicted of that one, he could spend life in prison and pay a $10,000 fine. What has our world come to, when underage vag is only worth ten grand? Maybe they should up the bar a bit to, you know, deter people from doing that.
Whatever the case, Warren isn’t really going anywhere anytime soon, but the fact that he could potentially get less time for repeatedly abusing young children is just not okay. If anything, we should at least put him in a room with Jessi Slaughter‘s father, to let him know he dun goofed.