Driving down the road, a friend and I came across one of those â€runaway truck ramp†signs, and seeing as that particular sign pointed to a flat plateau that eventually turned into a large wall of rocky terrain, I’m not quite sure where the life-saving measures are in that, or why it was (seemingly) haphazardly placed there. I guess what I’m getting at is, what had to happen for that sign to be placed there? How many accidents or disasters have to occur for people to take notice? Why do trucks feel like the have to run away in the first place? Man, parents just don’t understand.
I’m not trying to get all serious on you, and I promise there will be plenty of racist, crude remarks in the following paragraphs. It’s just that I wonder how our world, and specifically our country, is going to rectify itself for all of its perversions; and how many fucked up things have to take place before the majority of the population starts to care.
Take politics for instance: The only reason our current (black!) president won is because he became a cultural icon; and not in the Freedom Bitch sort of way, but in the “immortalized by Soulja Boy and slapped on polyurethane for pussies†way. Don’t get me wrong, even though he is as disappointing as bad sex with a dude that looks like Don Draper but is stacked like (NSFW) Danny Bonaduce, I would have preferred him over that old, rich white guy. I think that it is safe to say that millions who voted for him had no idea what his political platform really entailed, they just knew that he was the guy wheat pasted on the wall, by the bar.
As much as Ted Haggard would love for you to believe that AIDS is a “gay disease,†it’s not, and everyone knows that. Just kidding about that, no they don’t. There are still an alarming amount of people who think that because they don’t get rammed by a member of the same sex, that they’re immune to it. Does it really need to come down to a bubonic AIDS epidemic, before we start teaching safe sex in our public schools? If so, aren’t we already there?
How many other things can we add to the list of shit people should care about, but don’t? Let’s see: human trafficking, child slave labour, forced prostitution, how Dick Cheney had another heart attack and is still alive (come on, Jesus, do me a solid), people freebasing light bulbs, Big Brother, Jews, and so on.
So, dear reader, while I am busy caring about shit that doesn’t matter (Kari Ferrell), what other madly depressing things can I read about today? Hit me with some knowledge, please.
Can we add a few NYC related items to this list of important stuff nobody cares about but should:
A. Nobody wears bike helmets because they look nerdy. However you are 14 times more likely to DIE if you arent wearing one. Watch how cabbies drive fixie freaks. Wear a damn helmet.
B. Bedbugs. Seriously folks? Were still dumpster diving in the middle of a bedbug epidimic? Dumpster diving? Seriously? Why dont you drag the MTA benches into your house and you and all your neighbors can be a giant welt.
Couldn't have said it better, there's a heart under that big ol bird on your chest
I think
damn..
Don't forget about freebasing Jews. Cocaine is how we have the energy to run all of the banks and still do strand-up.
If you want to see something really unreal go to http://www.usdebtclock.org It is not just the national debt. It is a comprehensive site of financial armageddon. This is where our elected aristocracy have led us to.
We have a black president?
World issues. Kari Ferrell. Who woulda thunk it?
By the way, what's your decision on starring in a porn film?
I get it. You're saying AIDS isn't a gay disease, it's a black disease, and everyone who voted for Obama now has AIDS. And everyone who voted for McCain has heart disease, like Dick Cheney, who is rumored to have no heart.