The Federal Aviation Administration has no fucking idea who owns one-third of the airplanes in the U.S. right now. And they’re a little worried! Something about terrorists, criminals, and etc. Maybe you own one of these planes?

Reports the Associated Press:

The Federal Aviation Administration is missing key information on who owns one-third of the 357,000 private and commercial aircraft in the U.S. — a gap the agency fears could be exploited by terrorists and drug traffickers.

The records are in such disarray that the FAA says it is worried that criminals could buy planes without the government’s knowledge, or use the registration numbers of other aircraft to evade new computer systems designed to track suspicious flights.

Before you get all judgmental and weird, please remember that the agency’s been underfunded since the Clinton years/forever. And though you might think the Bush Administration would have taken some interest in monitoring aircraft super-extremely closely after the famous “9/11” event, apparently they did not. So now we’ve got all these drug dealers flying planes full of cocaine into America, promoting addictive behaviors that studies show help no one.

The Obama Administration’s gonna try to restore order and keep America safe by making aircraft owners re-register their planes. But you can be both proactive and helpful by voluntarily registering your plane with the FAA ASAP. It would be very polite and thoughtful: The feds are stressing about this problem, and you could help alleviate some of that stress. Enclose a perfumed thank-you note with your forms to add that personal touch.