A group calling itself the Food Liberation Army has captured Ronald McDonald and is threatening to execute him by Friday, Feb 11th if their questions about the fast food chain’s manufacturing processes and waste management aren’t answered. Tasteful, huh?

I’m not really sure what “ethically produced meat” could be, but junk-injected, genetically modified feed-stuffed cattle waiting to die in an overcrowded slaughterhouse is definitely not it — and that’s only one leg of the junk food empire’s practices, as outlined by the FLA.

Roll kidnapping footage: