“Remake.” If the very word fills your guts with hate, gurgling like a pre-vomit spasm of acute film-related displeasure, you best not read on. Yes, someone is allegedly remaking the 2000 Christian Bale-starring movie classic based on the 1991 Bret Easton Ellis-penned fiction classic. Barf. Here’s why…
1) Occupy Wall Street confusion: Though he is a horrible serial killer and all that, Patrick Bateman is one of those sneaky literary villains who actually functions as a protagonist of the story, embodying everything that is wrong with the ’80s Wall Street investment banker NYC culture and exterminating it as well, axe-blow by axe-blow, an Ouroboros if you will. As it would be impossible to make a Wall Street-related movie without absorbing Occupy as an element, this will just be confusing. I’m confused just talking about it.
2) Christian Bale was the best killer yuppie ever: Who the hell is going to replace him? Robert Pattinson? C’mon.
3) Wrong decade for music: What the hell is going to replace Huey Lewis & the News? Trent Reznor and Karen O? C’mon.
4) Robert Longo: Decorating Bateman’s apartment with Longo was intentionally ironic because it was too cool for him to get. What the hell is going to replace Longo? Shepard Fairey because it’s ironic because he’s all like “Occupy Wall Street, kinda! Yey!” but isn’t really? C’mon!
5) The word “remake” fills my guts with hate.
Also, I think I accidentally just thought of the worst movie ever.
I’m really sorry.
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A remake of a perfectly made movie is a crime. I wish only terrible things to happen to anyone involved in this project to the point that it is halted before production.
indeed, my friend
One reason it SHOULD be remade:
Because the 2000 version was totally weak. The moment I left the theater I turned to my friend and said, "how many years before the license expires and someone else can have a crack at it?
We should be clear, too: it wouldn't be a remake, since it wouldn't be based on the 2000 film. It would be based directly on the book, which would make it a "retake" if anything. And who said anything about said retake being set in the current time? It's not like the 2000 version was set in 2000.
As to casting: I dunno. Cronenberg seems to have faith in R-Pat for playing a yuppie in Cosmopolis, but I'll reserve judgement until it comes out. My call? Fassbender. He would OWN it. Bale played it too hammy for my taste.
"And who said anything about said retake being set in the current time? It's not like the 2000 version was set in 2000. "
All the press releases state that it will be a modern adaptation, transposing the events of the story to the present day.
BAH
Okay, scratch that part then. The rest of my point still stands. It's a retake, not a remake, and the 200 version was weak-ass with a too hammy Bale (and I ususally like Bale) as Bateman.
Don't like the idea of someone else taking a stab at it? That doesn't seem fair. And I suppose there should only ever be one film version of "Macbeth" too?
Because Bateman didn't READ hammy as all hell? But hmm.
Not to me, not particularly.
This is criminal. Bale IS Bateman in the film. Why must Hollywood prepossess itself with spoon-feeding the new generation with crap? This will be a f*cking disaster, just like the remake of Peckinpah's 'The Getaway,' and 'Straw Dogs,' (TWO remakes – poor bastard), the remake of Hitchcock's 'Psycho,' the remake of Edwards' 'Pink Panther,' I think you get where I'm going here.
Oh god, Straw Dogs, why did you have to remind me…
…and then there's Werner Herzog's "Nosferatu" and Mangold's "3:10 To Yuma" and Philip Kaufmann's "Invasion Of The Bady Snatchers" and Warren Beatty's "Heaven Can Wait" and Cukor's "A Star Is Born" and Leone's "Fistful Of Dollars" and Cronenberg's "The Fly" and… I think you get where I'm going here.
"What the hell is going to replace Huey Lewis & the News? Trent Reznor and Karen O? C’mon."
Really?
C'mon. Half way through that you just didn't go "Nickelback" and decide this whole thing was a bust?
I don't actually have a problem with Reznor soundtracking, but there's a 75% chance he will do THIS and it just doesn't gel, contextually, IMHO.
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