Americans are no strangers to repression (drug laws, surveillance cameras, etc.), but at least we still have the right to avoid our parents. Meanwhile, the Chinese government is considering a law that would require people to not only hang out with Mom and Dad but also take care of them during their “Golden Years,” or else face jail time. This has got to be one of the scariest laws EVER.
Says Wu Ming, an official with the Ministry of Civil Affairs, “[e]lderly parents can resort to law according to the amendment if their adult children do not visit or spend enough time with them.” Uh-oh, former bad kids of China: Prepare to be punished by your old parents for the rest of their lives, courtesy of the government. You’re gonna be eating at the all-you-can-eat Sunday brunch buffet for years to come, talking with your parents about coupons and the neighbor’s yard being too thick. Gonna suck, hardcore.
Maybe some people’s parents are cool, and this law won’t bug them at all. But for others, the law will destroy their lives by inspiring their parents to force them into the Sunday brunch dates, as well as act in bratty, demanding, nefarious ways. “Hey kiddo, you better come over here and watch The Price Is Right with me, or else your ass is going to jail!” And “I told you to over here and fix this leaky faucet STAT, or else your ass is going to jail!” And “I’m out of pudding! Bring me my goddamn favorite pudding right now or else your ass is going to jail!” Some kids will ignore their parents and actually end up in jail, and this will be tragic.