FAKEENGLISHThis brilliant little short perfectly demonstrates what it’s like to watch a movie when your English skills are lacking. This “Fake English” sure sounds like English, but what the hell are they arguing about? Ah, the mystery.

The film Skewl show for Sydney Kino aptly scripts the actors with American-sounding gibberish, a barely-congealing mass of random words and syllables. Out of this linguistic swamp, a few distinguishable words float up — “…shit!” “…car…” and “Yeah, sure.” Each is a brief, anxiety-inducing jolt.

Excellent. So, once my fellow former F.O.B.-ers are done reminiscing on the time when this was your daily reality, pass it on to a heartless native speaker and get your long overdue sympathy.