Remember how Michael Douglas’s son called his crystal meth products “bath salts“? No? Oh, well, he did. Anyway, it’s come to light that some people in Louisiana are now selling bath salts that are actually drugs, for real.

Reports the New Orleans TV channel WSDU:

Slidell police have arrested a store clerk and a customer under a new law banning the possession and distribute of fake “bath salts” that are used to get high.

Police said after Gov. Bobby Jindal signed an emergency rule last week outlawing the bath salts, officers sent letters and visited stores to let them know the products were illegal.

Apparently, bath salts have been creeping into Louisianan communities and hurting everyone, and also somehow making the streets unsafe (by spilling everywhere?).

The News Star has more details about these magical terror crystals:

The fake bath salts are commonly manufactured in China and India and sold in individual bags on the Internet, in convenience stores and on the street under the brand names Ivory Wave, Ocean, Charge +, White Lightning, Scarface, Hurricane Charlie, Red Dove, Cloud-9 and White Dove.

Since the end of September, Louisiana Poison Control has received 165 calls from people in crisis after snorting, smoking or injecting these dangerous substances, DHH reported. Eighty-five percent of the calls came from emergency room physicians or first responders caring for individuals suffering the traumatic side effects of ingesting these chemicals as drugs.

The 165 calls in Louisiana represent nearly 57 percent of calls recorded nationwide. Louisiana had seven times as many calls as Kentucky, the source of 23 calls — the second most in the U.S.

DHH reports that users of these drugs are being treated for extreme paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, agitation, hypertension, chest pain and headache. Many report suicidal thoughts

Have you ever thought about investigating the hallucinogenic potential of your shower products? No? Yeah, me neither. Gotta hand it to these folks for being creative.

Now that Louisiana has addressed its bath salt epidemic, look for other states to enact their own bans in quick order. Kansas apparently has a rapidly growing bath salt problem: Only eight calls about salt abuse in 2010, but already five calls in 2011! That’s a trend to watch. Meanwhile, in Florida people are comparing bath salts to the synthetic marijuana drug K2 (which the state senate has been talking about lately).

As if our showers couldn’t get any more unsafe.