The Hudson River will never look blue. There’s been way too many bodies, trash, and toxins dumped in it for it to ever be a normal color. But people are now saying the Hudson River is a redish-brown color. Oh hell no — red is not the color any river should ever be. That only happens in biblical disasters and bad movies.

But the City Room says that Hurricane Irene, and not our lord and savior, is to blame for the latest plague to come our way.

Apparently there was a considerable amount of storm water runoff from Upstate New York caused by the hurricanes winds.

Upstate New York: you suck. You’re country as hell and you’re boring. Give us back the state fair, so we can hold it in Brooklyn and throw a real banger. Keep your gross mud to yourself next time. “Sea-foam Garbage” is the way we keep our river and we don’t want it any other way.