Since Jeff Koons sent a cease and desist letter to SF’s Park Life gallery for selling bookends shaped like the balloon dogs which he obviously invented, the gallery lawyered up and swung back with legal zingers galore in a federal complaint starting with “As virtually any clown can attest, no one owns the idea of making a balloon dog, and the shape created by twisting a balloon into a dog-like form is part of the public domain.”

The document goes on like a poison pen letter to call out Koons (who turns 56 today) for biting, posing, bullying and being delusional. SLAM!