Forever the minx, 37-year-old artist, writer and filmmaker Miranda July takes to her New Yorker column to joyfully brag about her prolific shoplifting past — “the whole world was one giant heist,” citing intermediate level magnet tricks of the trade for cred. Then, the narrative progresses into outright airline insurance fraud, made sound like a hobby. Don’t judge.

Not only did it come in handy when the young daughter of affluent intellectuals was suddenly on her own in Portland trying to make it as a performance artist of all things, the gal managed to hustle together another indie film… at this day and age! Kudos!

Moral of the story: The whole world is one giant heist so, kids, practice early and often.