Since you all got iStuff this Christmas — and if you didn’t, your parents are the worst motherfucking parents in the world — the New York Public Library is offering to personally train you to use your e-readers and gadgets. They’re even giving out guides that “can be downloaded remotely without a visit to the library.” Mixed signals much?

The Mid-Manhattan Branch is offering in-person assistance in early January to get you started on your IRL to e-book journey and bid you “go away.” Then again, a more reasonable theory would be that the NYPL’s continuing efforts to bring up New York’s literacy rate now extend to fancy trinket training which they’re hoping you’ll use to read something other than LOCATS.

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