Russian oil ‘n’ gas billionaire Roman Abramovich owns the largest private yacht in the world, so he sailed it to Venice and now everyone’s mad. What? You want him to vacation without pools, helipads, a 10-man submarine, 40 crew members and a gigantic moonroof under which to copulate with socialite Dasha Zhukova while his yacht shoots electronic lasers at the paparazzi?

The parked, gratuitous, gargantuan eyesore blocks out St. Marks Basin… with class. A source tells ANIMAL that he has two exact ships, just to keep everyone guessing to his whereabouts. Opulence: Roman has it.