Sofia Coppola, supreme mistress of the boo-hoo-priviledged-famous-me genre, is allegedly working on a feature film about the Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch a.k.a. the Bling Ring rich kids who robbed Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Rachel Bilson, Megan Fox and Orlando Bloom’s houses of $3 million worth of loot.

The whole teen robbery fracas has already been given a vomit-inducing Lifetime treatment, but this [theoretical] adaptation would surely be imbued with atmosphere and stylishly moody lethargy where nothing happens but feels like it does.

Also, the sister of one of the teen robbers, a fellow reality star, is reportedly starring in the film. One favor, Hollywood: Lindsay Lohan to play Lindsay Lohan? Give the girl a break. Just think of the impromptu cat fights. Meow. Reow.