“The key difference is that after 9 hours of doing lines, I just go home instead of getting to have sex with someone,” adult-star-turned-indie-actor James Deen tells ANIMAL about working on the set of Paul Schrader’s The Canyons. Otherwise, most everything “hasn’t been much different that any of the bigger budget feature style adult films” he has worked on in the past. He did however enjoy “building a character.” He was so about to “build a character” for a Bret Easton Ellis film-script of 50 Shades of Grey.

As Deen tweeted recently: “I’m down!!! RT @BretEastonEllis Fifty Shades of Grey: JAMES DEEN as Christian… ”

Anyone who follows Bret Easton Ellis’s Twitter is familiar with his rampant insomnia/Ambien/…-induced middle-of-the-night crit, his updates about his Schrader collab The Canyons and with his giddy enthusiasm about being on the list of possible screenwriters for the film adaptation for that BDSM-y book that incredulously everyone and their mom is reading on the train with their legs crossed.

Let’s just ignore BEE’s Matt Bomer rant today because it’s just really, really off. Meanwhile, the Internet wanted Deen to play some billionaire dom playboy (Uh, haven’t read the “book”…) because he looks like the character. And does BDMS porn. And he really could have, since Bret Easton Ellis tweeted about it (Uh, which would mean I’d have to read the “book”…)

“At the moment just Twitter talk,” Deen told us, but it was all Twitter talk that got him to pretend bang Lindsay Lohan last time. So, it almost happened. That would have been a little to “real” though, wouldn’t it (link NSFW)? ”I think, it would be a fun project to work on and I hope whoever end up playing the part has a good time,” Deen says.

It’s not going to be Bret Easton Ellis though, because “It’s a very major disappointment to announce that I’ve somehow been taken off the list of possible screenwriters for Fifty Shades of Grey…” he says. Well, there’s always the porn parody? Or would that be too meta?