A 24-year-old Brooklyn woman allegedly forged some hundies and then tried to spend them at a J.C. Penny in Wilkes-Barre, PA. The counterfeit Benjamins only flaw? The watermark used ol’ Abraham Lincoln, which would have dead on for some fake five-dollar bills. Ah, so close.

Apparently, a week ago today, she purchased some bed sheets before a J.C. Penny “loss prevention officer” realized the note was phony. The officer called up a Kohl’s down the road to give them a heads up and a description of the woman called Fafane Pascal; when she tried to spend another bogus bill there, a store official took it and pretended to get change from a cashier. Pascal fled, but was later caught at another store and identified by her New York State welfare card.

The remorseful faker later told secret service, “What’s the big deal? It’s not like I killed somebody or anything.”