We’re not saying that action figures are kids’ stuff, but consider this: Now that this unauthorized action figure of Steve Jobs is hitting the market in late February, breeders should consider purchasing this for their children. Why?

Because in the future, the domestic hubbub of Barbie and Ken will be replaced with reality television for babies. Barbie’s dream house? In this economy? Forget about it. No, little one, we need to get you this wee $99 Steve Jobs and an Anna Chapman action figure and he can teach her to properly configure her laptop settings so she doesn’t get caught next time. Then, Jimmy McMillan will come in to discuss renters rights. Now that’s playtime.

Tiny iPhone not included. Waaaaaaaaaa.