Jeff Koons made a brave appearance on The Colbert Report last night. Oh, it’s fun. It’s fun to watch the artist defend the “darkness and depth” of his work in short verbal spurts and emphatic gesticulations while Colbert showered him with jabs and pretend naivete. Just watch.

“I like art… I like the way it makes me feel.”

“It makes you feel rich.”

Ba dum tss. Repeat.

Alright, Jeff bud, you’ve got 7 seconds to explain the sublime meaning of your  One Ball in Total Equilibrium Tank. Oh, it’s perfect, like “being in a womb” is it? And the shiny, shiny balloon, it’s “mythic” “like a Trojan Horse” is it? And we’re all like balloon animals anyway, because we “breathe in” “optimism” and “exhale” “death?” Big smile, big smile. Alright, that was pretty endearing.

But Colbert knocks Koons down a tiny notch or two. Cool. He’s so cool he’s throwing a music party at our neighbors’ place on August 10–“StePhest Colbchella ‘012: RocktAugustFest” at the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum, with the Flaming Lips, Santigold, Grandmaster Flash and Grizzly Bear. It’s a music shin-ding…now with more missiles!