He’s also “devastated.” After 19 years of coupling and breeding, Hirst’s girlfriend has left him, and so, he had a party with a bunch of amusement rides on his estate, where he could cry if he wanted to, presumably.

The California-born baby mamma of three left Hirst for a former mercenary and “soldier of fortune” whose security firm was multi-million-dollar contract with the US government in Iraq and Afghanistan and was once accused of breaching a UN embargo by shipping weapons to Sierra Leone, i.e. possibly a bigger jerk than someone who pickles dead animals for art. Possibly.

So there he is. World’s richest artist. Get at him.

Here he is at 16 posing next to a dead human head. Aw.

(Photo: Mikkel Elbech/Flickr, Tate)