Ooh, look, what’s this? David Lynch is auctioning off a little one-on-one on CharityBuzz and it’s currently about $8,500. For that bounty of bucks, he will read one screenplay and meet with you and a buddy for 45 minutes and go over it, in person. Or on Skype if you’re not in Los Angeles.

Proceeds go to the David Lynch Foundation “to fund the implementation of scientifically proven stress-reducing modalities including Transcendental Meditation, for at-risk populations such as underserved inner-city students; veterans with PTSD and their families; American Indians suffering from diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and high suicide rates.” If a premise of a large, spiritual-sounding, celebrity-associating organization based out of Iowa gives you the Scientology willies, it’s ok… Seems harmless and well-meaning enough. And it’s just $8K+! Pocket change, right? Psh.

I mean, you could also still pay $3,000 to gym-train with Bret Easton Ellis even though his Kickstarter for The Canyons film is already funded, or throw other large amounts of money at the project to get him and Paul Schrader to talk to you, like for real, ’cause surely that budget could use another little boost. I’m sorry, there are no porn star James Deen or Lindsay Lohan related prizes. That we know of. So far. Ahem. Hint.

But man, yeah, Skyping with David Lynch. And he’s so, so, so ever so nice. Well, you’ve got a day to bid, buddy. And then a year to claim it. So, get scribbling. This is your chance.

Bullet via GalleristNY via my fantasies. (Photo: hicns/Flickr)