Republican surrogate and all-around asshole Donald Trump made an announcement today that wasn’t much of the October Surprise he was promising, but did basically prove what believers-in-evolution have known all along: He’s still a birther. Although the neocon businessman appears to be satisfied with the validity of Barack Obama’s birth certificate, he’s now offering $5 million for his college transcripts, because according to Trump, that will ultimately prove that the president was actually a foreign exchange student or something. After all, how can Obama be black and a real American?