Ahh, sweet vindication! According to recent studies, if you ambush a night owl at their “least optimal time of day,” say 8am after a late late night, and then make ‘em do brain teasers, they’re going to be significantly more effective than normal. But wait, there’s more! If they’re just the right amount of drunk, they’ll get better at word puzzles too.

So, what’s this “right amount of drunk” exactly? “At least 0.075.” So, just after a drink or two, you’ll be solving insight problems all pro-like. Why exactly?

Here, pretend this is written in matchsticks and make it right: IV = III + III. Right, right, it should be VI = III + III. That was easy.

No make this right: III = III + III What? 3 = 3 + 3? Nuh, bah, you’re doing it wrong. While normies attempt to make this equation right by changing around the Roman numerals and get caught in a frustrating loop of impossibility, brain damaged individuals move the plus sign’s sticks around like so: III = III = III. Ta-da! See, the brain damaged — like the calculatedly intoxicated and the exhaustion impaired — are “forced” to “consider a much wider range of possible answers.”

Take a drank. Skip your nap. Free your mind. Don’t blame us if it doesn’t work for you and this doesn’t happen.