A man being charged with drunkenly stealing a cab and taking it on a high-speed cruise through Manhattan with the driver still inside gave his closing arguments yesterday. His defense–and I quote: “I was drunk!”

“I didn’t have any intentions! I didn’t even want the car,” continued California resident Michael Findley, who was reportedly also on coke at the time of the incident. “As a jury of my peers, I’m sure you understand that my intention was not to permanently deprive him of that vehicle,” he added. It should probably come as no surprise that Findley was acting as his own lawyer.

According to cabbie Mohammed Latif, Findley refused to leave the taxi, eventually beating Latif, getting behind the wheel, and driving down Houston Street at 80-plus mph.

(Photo: Ben Mason/Flickr)