Now that Damien Hirst’s eleven simultaneous shows of mind-numbing spot paintings are open, there seems to be a reactionary wave of dislike. Here’s why “We hate this shit,” with necessary wisdom from Hennessy Youngman.

So, why do we take the shenanigans of this art market manipulating, skull bedazzling hack so personally, getting all riled up? Why would we even care that he has artificially inflated the value of and interest in his boring fucking dots? Because… they suck. Even Jerry Saltz’ nod of approval came with a tsk-tsk:

“Damien Hirst has brought forth so much b.s., bad art, and blatant moneymaking that it’s hard to remember that he’s not just a truculent huckster.”

Will Brand of Art Fag City has voiced our shared sentiment a lot clearer:

“I’m going to lay this down, just to clarify, so that nobody from the future gets confused: we hate this shit. Everyone hates this shit. These spots reflect nothing about how we live, see, or think, they’re just some weird meme for the impossibly rich that nobody knows how to stop.”

And then AFC subsequently did not get the invite to the VIP Damien Hirst preview today that it normally would have. Ah, Hirst, sensitive much?

Then you’re not going to like this one, Hirsty. Here’s the latest from Hennessy Youngman’s Art Thoughtz. It will teach you how the market works, i.e. “As an artist, if you actually touch your own artwork, the value of said artwork is severely depreciated.” Damien Hirst: He’s just like Mark Kostabi, but not as exciting. Dot. Dot. Dot. SHARKFACE.

(Original photo: Kyle Chayka)