Found it: 455 Graham Ave, Greenpoint, Brooklyn (between Richardson and the BQE)

Why we went in: ‘Its hot as fuck. I hate the train. I hate when underdressed obese people allow their dangly wet underarm fat to graze my face while they drink coo…OOO! Pretty clothes! Flowy clothes! AC?’

Inside: AC! And Slowfax owner Karla, pictured above. She prefers to be photographed with her hair down.

1. OMG! CMYK!

2. Karla insists that people DO use these suitcases and that, in fact, rolly bags ‘are hard’.

3. This is in ‘the section for people who don’t live here’ (because its hot out and its long-sleeved, obviously)

4. Underboob is still cool. Side boob? ‘Out.’

5. Greenpoint economics. Sold. Bought.

Bonus: Do you know how to talk like a non- rolly bag wheeling, underboob lauding, vomit-green couch buying Greenpoint shop girl? Prove it!

Before scrolling further, describe the following freshpoint fashions in three words. Look below the pictures to see if you, like, get it.

If you guessed, static, acid, mall and silk, disco, beach (left to right) Then, YES! YOU ARE COOL AS FUCK. Open a store. If you said anything else, maybe you should renew your lease in Astoria.

Either way, if you go see Karla try some drape-y shit on and let her describe it to you. Bring a bottle of wine – cold glasses kept on hand.

Stay tuned for five more things in seven more days.