I can’t believe I just watched this entire fucking thing.

Glenn Beck has gone off even his own deep end and made an art. Here are some highlights of this twelve minute segment:

- An “Art History” lesson defending freedom of expression serving as prelude to a mental breakdown.

- Glenn Beck with a beret and a very bad French accent painting “jeans” on a Lucian Freud print for “fatty fat fat.

- Semi-verbalized, condescending pointing at a print of “that Pollock” and “that” (a Picasso) while the Shepard Fairey-esque HOPE Washington poster hangs in the background. Good to know the man has aesthetic priorities.

- An anecdote about the Renaissance and “chopping off a thousand ding-a-lings.”

- Beck fondly fondling a “still warm” mason jar of his alleged urine.

- Beck lisping lustfully about Michelle Obama’s tight abs.

- Something about ”a small porcelain room.”

And then, of course, the presentation of his amazing artwork, Obama in Pee Pee. 

Not only does Beck fail to acknowledge his gimmick predecessor Bill Donahue for the Obama With Fake Poop Thing, the actual artwork that has been snowballing this circus – Andres Serrano’s Piss Christ – is not mentioned at all, albeit he does flash on a Chris Ofili slide.

Everything is done with the bad timing and awkwardness your very drunk, mentally unstable uncle at Christmas dinner when it is so very uncomfortable for everyone but no one knows how to make it stop.

And also, uh… I’m sorry, I can’t anymore.