Who’s this Domingo Zapata whose Lindsay Lohan thing was bought by a “British collector” for $100,000? I don’t know, ’cause all I found were photos of him hanging with Johnny Depp and Brainwash and this faux-outsider art mild biting Basquiat. Belgh. What’s “Marilyn Monroe-inspired” about this piece, aside from it looking like it was inscribbled by a woman-child on barbiturates?

It reads, ahem ahem: “An Apple… that I like… with a bite out of it. Adam and Eve changed mankind forever… started SIN… it was a plain simple apple hanging from a tree. Then the world changed for all of us.” Oh, wow. Oh, and “Eat Me.” Wow. Now, see, we’re not judging Lindsay, she’s got gigs now, but honestly, that sleazy sleazy photoshoot with sleazy sleazy Terry Richardson the other day was more artsy, and that’s saying much.

Warning: Pale nipple.