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    How do you hit on someone on the subway?


    By ANIMAL | July 11, 2012 - 11:30AM

    Tags: ANIMAL Polls
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    2071471 Commenthttp%3A%2F%2Fanimalnewyork.com%2F2012%2Fhow-do-you-hit-on-someone-on-the-subway%2FHow+do+you+hit+on+someone+on+the+subway%3F2012-07-11+15%3A30%3A06ANIMALhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.animalnewyork.com%2F%3Fp%3D207147

    207147One Response tohttp%3A%2F%2Fanimalnewyork.com%2F2012%2Fhow-do-you-hit-on-someone-on-the-subway%2FHow+do+you+hit+on+someone+on+the+subway%3F2012-07-11+15%3A30%3A06ANIMALhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.animalnewyork.com%2F%3Fp%3D207147 “How do you hit on someone on the subway?”

    1. Dr. Dave Bowman says:
      July 11, 2012 at 1:49 pm

      I was going to a hip hop show last summer by myself because my friend baled last minute. I almost didn't go, but I assumed selling the ticket outside the venue wouldn't be a problem. On my ride on the 1 train downtown to Santos, a gorgeous girl and I were exchanging eyes. Normally, I wouldn't do anything about this because, "how do you hit on someone on the subway?" Well, I found a way. Or should I say, the way found me. She was studying the Subway map with obvious confusion and looking at me flirtatiously for some assistance. We passed Christopher, then Houston Street, my stop was coming up soon and I knew I would deeply regret not giving this a shot. So, I walked over to her, smiled and asked if she needed help finding her way. She was even flyer up close than she was from across the train. A petite, tan, green-eyed Italian beauty who barely spoke english, traveling alone in my city. She was able to explain to me in her cute broken english that she was going to walk around the World Trade Center area and needed help getting there. I suggested that she instead join me at an underground hip hop show of a group she never heard of. Why not right? She smiled and to my astonishment, agreed. Score!

      We hung out downstairs having drinks waiting for the show to start and having a "conversation" that could only be described as eye fucking and smiles with a few words in between. I spoke to her in the little bit of Spanish I knew, which she understood. Before our second beer was emptied, we were making out like two teenagers. We ended up going outside onto the streets of Tribeca for a little more privacy. We continued our hijinks on the sidewalk around the corner for 20 minutes or so, but decided to go in and hear some music.

      The Juggaknots went on and killed it. She was digging the music. We would continue kissing here and there during the performance, but decided to leave before the main act and get some food.

      We went to the Tribeca Grand hotel lobby and had some food and drink in between more kissing and groping. We couldn't go back to my apartment because my roommate was there with his girlfriend, and her hotel was way on the upper west side. After hours of frustrating (but enjoyable) fucking around, we walked downstairs to explore.

      She took my hand and brought me into the women's bathroom stall when the attendant wasn't looking. We got into it immediately, but she made sure to communicate to me (however she could) that she had her period. I didn't have a condom anyway, and I don't fuck around like that. She unzipped me and gave me the best blowjob I've ever had. I recall pounding my fist into the wall upon finishing. "My god" I thought, "Is this a dream?" It wasn't, because if it were a dream, she wouldn't have opened the toilet lid and spit out all my children like she did. No girl has ever spit me out like that and it bothered me, but I digress.

      She was leaving the next day but made tentative plans to get lunch (and hopefully another beej). I went to her hotel the next day and tried calling her room, no answer. They told me she checked out. Maybe she was on a sex tourism adventure staying at random hotels and riding the trains around NYC looking for dudes. Who knows? Who cares?

      Point is, this is an absolutely true story, and one of the hottest, porn-ish things to ever happen to me. All from a ride on the New York City Subway. Fuck a missed connection! Man up and say something if your smile is returned, but do it when your stop is coming up so you don't have to fester in your awkwardness if it doesn't work out.

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