Artist Jeff Koons lead a tour of his new exhibit at the Galerie Almine Rech in Brussels last weekend, explaining what the balloon sculptures are all about. Just guess.

ArtInfo has collected a bevy of explanations, namely Balloon Venus (Magenta) (2008-2012) is particularly explicit.

“If you walk around the piece, you can look inside the Venus and everything is revealed; so there’s a little aspect of violence, nothing is held back of her inner being… It’s kind of a view of the cosmos. You have two crescent moons and you realize that it’s somebody having sex, there’s kind of a masculine-feminine presence, but it is only one person and they’re actually having sex with themselves. The Venus of Willendorf is truly a symbol of fertility because it can procreate on its own. The Venus’s breasts are full, they’re voluptuous, her stomach, a real symbol of fertility. But if you look and you let your mind start to go, you realize that the breasts could actually be testicles and that the stomach could actually be a phallus and that it’s actually going in on itself, and procreating.

And all the times you spent looking into the shiny balls and feeling self-conscious for reading into it.