Naturally, South Park has already responded to the Lance Armstrong Steroidapocalypse last night with a Dr. Seuss-influenced satire on allen celebrity and those damn plastic bracelets “A Scause for Applause.” Apparently, Jesus returned and got himself into a little bit of a performance enhancing drugs controversy of his own.

Spoiler alert! The gulags that the Pussy Riot girls have been sent to for two years have no hot water, no medicine and life-endangering conditions. Meanwhile, President Putin said they “got what they deserved” because dancing in a church for 40 seconds to an anti-Putin protest song was pretty much nation-demoralizing “group sex.” Oh wait. You mean the episode. Yes. At the very end, the doping prophet gives a rousing speech on the hill.

…So what have we learned form this great wristband theft? When stripped of our scaueses only causes are left and causes shouldn’t we worn on our wrists with a sneer. Let’s keep where they belong. Right here.

And then he opens his robe.

On t-shirts! FREE PUSSY RIOT!

Free Pussy Riot. You can watch the whole episode here.