Here is a pair of handsome gentlemen demonstrating sexual positions in crisp Mormon attire, from Portland photographer Neil DeCosta. Mormon Missionary Positions. Ooh, “taboo.” Naughty naughty.

As per Mitt Romney’s Latter Day Saints crew handbook: “Sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded as husband and wife. Any other sexual relations, including those between persons of the same gender, are sinful and undermine the divinely created institution of the family. The Church accordingly affirms defining marriage as the legal and lawful union between a man and a woman.” Waa, waa. Waa.

See, there’s a silver lining to all the recent GOP rape rhetoric, racist “slips” and other good olde days blabber, like the Republican presidential candidate’s passive aggressive spiel on same-sex marriage – the transparency of their other-phobic motivations, all right there the surface, so condescending and self-righteously wrong, not even conservative interpretations of the Bible or any rewritten, slanted internal briefs of thereof can excuse it. It just looks dumb.

And being “improper” has never been hotter.