A new study by New York City’s Health Department details the neighborhoods with the most reported instances of various STDs. The results may surprise you. Or, if you’ve ever left Chelsea with an itch (second only to the Bronx’s Tremont in overall STD cases), maybe they won’t.

Syphilis–killer of Capone, Gaugin, and Manet and causer of many a nasty rash–is most prevalent in wealthy Manhattan neighborhoods: Soho, Murray Hill, and the Upper West Side. Chlamydia and gonorrhea, on the other hand, prey on residents of the South Bronx, Central Brooklyn, and Northern Manhattan. And somewhat beguilingly, HIV and Hep C are the worst in four rapidly gentrifying working class (or formerly working class) neighborhoods: Bed-Stuy, Williamsburg, Crown Heights, and Harlem.

And now you know! The moral of the story: always be safe when you’re doing whatever it is you do in New York, but be especially safe if you’re hanging out in Soho. Wrap it up, folks.

(Photo: David Sim/Flickr)