Natalie Jeremijenko is an artist and engineer and professor and all-around smart person whose work has appeared in NYU at at TED conferences. Her documented intelligence is one of the reasons I’m having such a hard time with this tree office thing. So Jeremijenko built an office in a tree in the Socrates Sculpture Park. Okay, that’s pretty straightforward. Seems like a really neat idea, actually. Here’s where I get tripped up: “The facility is owned and operated by the tree itself, acting as your landlord. Your tenancy generates rent—proceeds to be used by and for the interests of your landlord tree as the tree determines for example: augmenting soil with biochar, companion plantings, and other actions at the tree’s discretion.” Leave aside the fact that I’m not sure how a tree could indicate to me it would love some soil augmented with biochar this morning. A tree landlord is the stuff of the weirdest anxiety dreams I’ve ever had.