This is Patriarch of Moscow and All Russia Kirill I. This is the holy man wearing a Breguet timepiece worth at least $30,000, matching his swanky gilded hat and the general opulence of the Russian Eastern Orthodox Church.

It’s a bad look though, so when the church press service posted the photo, they tucked the offensive bling under his sleeve with the miracle of Photoshop… but forgot to scrub it from the reflection in the table. Kirill told journalists that the photo was a fake, that he owns no such watch.

Then, the press service released the real photograph with an apology, bling in plain view. Oh, such cunning devilish sorcery! Oh, it gets better. This very Pope-like figure had just publicly condemned Pussy Riot to Hell.

In a nationwide broadcast, the Patriarch called Pussy Riot “blasphemous” and saying that the  “Devil has laughed at all of us” the day the ski-masked hardcore feminist band ambushed a Moscow chapel with their anti-Putin, anti-homophobia, anti-church corruption anthem.

Irony. It hurts.

Maria Alyokhina and Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, the lovely unmasked cultural heroines pictured below have been arrested for “hooliganism” and face seven years in prison if charged. Their actions are inspiring an even more absurd crack down on “blasphemy” and “cynicism” towards the church. They are on hunger strike.