Ah, functional scents! Here’s a new series of “wholesome” man musks that “recreate the scents of commonly-used excuses,” for when you’re coming home at 5 in the morn and she wants to smell yo dick, presumably. Spray on some My Car Broke Down for a whiff of “fuel, burnt rubber, grease and steel” and I Was Working Late in “coffee, wool suits, cigarettes and ink,” instead of strip club vinyl, tit sweat and Astroglide.

The South African “lap dancing club” Mavericks is selling these at £24 ($37) a bottle and didn’t expect it to be so damn popular all of a sudden, probably because they’re currently in hot, hot water over that themed stripper show above you’re looking at. Accused of “gender exploitation or objectification,” the company’s lawyered up. Their response? See, “a Cape Town woman” designed these and they’re organic, which means, obviously, they can’t be sexist. Sexism isn’t organic, you know.

Related: Smell Like Christopher St in 1976, Smell Like Bonfires, Smell Like Marquis de Sade.