Yesterday, FDNY Commissioner Sal Cassano called for the banning of novelty lighters in New York State, citing lighters that look like trucks, animals, and tractors, and saying that kids might have a hard time telling them apart from regular toys. That last part is probably true, which is why parents should make sure not to leave dangerous things like lighters around an accessible to children at all, whether they look kid-friendly or not, something that Chief Fire Marshall Robert Byrnes highlighted in his statement. “Leaving a lighter like this laying around, to me, is paramount to leaving a loaded firearm when children are in the house,” he said. “Very dangerous.”

A ban, however, places the onus on the state government rather than the family, and takes away our unalienable right to dumb novelties. I’m a responsible adult, and if I want a lighter shaped like an adorable rubber duckie, goddamnit, I should be able to buy one.

(Photo: Riccardo Bandiera/Flickr)