You might as well just throw your iPhone in the garbage now. Coming soon, there will be some kind of update to Siri, the helpful invisible woman that lives inside your iPhone.

It’s been discovered that Apple posted a job description looking for a writer to help create more dialog for Siri and make her “a distinct, recognizable character.” Keep an eye out for the inevitable sitcom, cancellation and downward drug-fueled spiral, complete with intervention (“Clean up your act, Siri!”).

(Photo: ladyous/Flickr + Terry Richardson)