“Is God really programme managing an intricate series of tasks, activities and dependencies allocated to over 7 billion resources?” severe skeptic Crispian Jago inquires. Nah, he’s winging it.

In his opinion, that God’s Plan is all like…

Get the chosen ones lost in desert (LOL)

Jago was able to “hack into God’s PC and search through the unbelievable amount of filth he’s been downloading and eventually locate the .mpp file he’s been using to manage this curious project.” Right next to the Tifanny Starr XXX jpg stash.