The write-in vote remains one of the greatest, most useless tools in the American democratic system. Don’t like the assholes offered up by your political party of choice? Just write in literally anyone else–your dad, your high school English teacher, your favorite cartoon character. It’s often a gesture without any pragmatic effect, but writing in allows you to feel some small amount of control over the political system.

How many write-ins went to Carlos Danger, Anthony Weiner’s nom-de-dickpic, in this month’s mayoral primary? Just two, both Democrats, one in Manhattan and the other in Staten Island. That seems way too low for some reason.

Here are some other notable votes, per the Board of Elections’ official statistics.


Linguist and political commentator Noam Chomsky (1 vote, Democrat).


Acclaimed film actor William Gary Busey (1 vote, Republican).


Rent Is Too Damn High Party candidate Jimmy McMillan, presumably by someone who didn’t realize he’s going to be on the general ballot (1 vote, Republican).


Professional children’s entertainer Mickey Mouse (1 vote, Democrat).


His partner, Donald Duck (1 vote, Republican).


Joey Buttafuoco, for some reason (1 vote, Democrat).


NYPD commissioner Ray Kelly (7 votes, 5 Democrat, 2 Republican).


Former NYC mayor Fiorello LaGuardia, deceased 1947 (1 vote, Democrat).


Anthropomorphized piece of garbage Sean Hannity (1 vote, Republican).


Former U.S. President William Jefferson Clinton (2 votes, Democrat).


Convicted child rapist Nechemya Weberman (1 vote, Democrat [yeesh]).

A colorful cast of characters indeed! Bill de Blasio and Joe Lhota face off in the general election November 5.

(Top photo: futuraprime/Flickr)